Not Two in Mud Crabs

mudcrabIt’s strange when a thirty year old refers to you as a surrogate mum and you realize that you are – well i did and although well meant, i found myself having slipped out of the net and into the position of knot maker. No longer one of the fishes in the sea. I glanced across the table and watched a version of myself, just of a  different generation and it didn’t matter because i was now so far away from youth that my needs had to be redefined.  Did i walk away feeling old? Not at all. I took the calm and peace that sits within my head and body, and enjoyed it, as i watched the nervous energy of new experiences take hold.  Her first mud crab. And i smiled as she said to me how as she gets older it becomes more and more difficult to have a first experience of anything.  And she’s right  for a few more years, but the joy of such discovery enters a phase of metamorphosis and becomes the re-discovery of favorites through the honeyed moments of younger eyes.  Mud crabs will always belong to this space. It’s where i understood that i was indeed not two in any way but inextricably and undeniably at one with everything else, even the remnants on the plate; the stars still shone and the moon’s crescent told stories of ambiguous adventures.
A perfect night for everything we want, i thought to myself and with that, hugged an overgrown child who hadn’t seen the woman within herself as i didn’t for so long, and enjoyed the night air, another story on my road of many tales, another friend in the gathering of hearts and a lesson in mortality, for once, welcomed.

Written by
Jane Nash
ADGL Member 2013

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